I was staring at the reflection of a shop window and was thinking out loud to myself: “look at the size of your one’s behind, she would give the Kardashians a run for their money.”
Then I swiftly walked away, but the massive behind followed me. I quickly broke out into a sprint, but it was still there ogling back at me.
I was struck by the realisation that the huge buttocks belonged to me. I piled on the pounds and gained what was aptly described as the Corona Stone during the lockdown.
This was my zero hour; my denial of my weight gain was cracked open; the battle of the bulge had begun.
Lockdown became a kind of aberration from real life was not the normal course of events. It was a novelty, and with me not having a routine or structure, the alarm clock was put on silent.
Food took on a new meaning. Going to the supermarket became the highlight of my day.
I filled the cupboards with everything that was laden with sugar.
The garden became a sanctuary for my family gatherings. Regular picnics and take-aways and barbeques became the norm.
Then there was the sibling competition of who baked the best banana bread? I was their willing judge!
I took a lackadaisical approach to exercise. I plonked myself on the couch in my pyjamas and furry slippers while stuffing my face with chocolate to ease the boredom of lockdown.
Truth be told, I was lucky I did not gain Corona Stone(s).
These are the 10 hints not to eat your way through the next lockdown.
- Snap out of denial, (I blamed the dryer for shrinking my clothes)
- Do the boring things you hate, but must do; eat less and move more? There is simply no silver bullet to weight loss.
- Everyone much find their own Zero Hour, the moment you decide “I need to stop over-eating” and put a plan of action into place.
- Dump the flour in the bin, no more baking banana bread.
- Ignore the voice inside your head that tells you to reward yourself with chocolate every night.
- Find a walking buddy that will not listen to your excuses not to exercise (no one has ever melted with a drop of rain).
- Do not live in leggings; the weight can creep up and you will not notice it.
- Fill the fridge with fruit and prepare healthy meals.
- Ban all sweets and takeaways.
- Your body is a temple so you should treat it as such.
Eating the Corona Stone was great fun, but it is no joke getting the weight off.
After 50, I have realised my metabolism has slowed to a screeching halt.
My main goal before Christmas is to get back into my old clothes and I have no intention of putting up a new Corona Stone.
Will I be successful in my endavour?
Stay tuned to the Limerick Voice to find out!